Going Public

There's something about going public with news that makes it seem real. I mean, if no one knows, then it may not really be happening. But it is. And now it's public. And it's really real.

We are moving.

Actually it isn't that easy. The words bring churning to my stomach, and a little bit of wet to my eyes (to quote Junie B.). I am not a bit fan of change. But I know when I must obey a calling.

I have actually known it was coming for years now. I knew that Ryan was not called to be a worship minister forever. Or at least not in the music ministry capacity. But I am one to ignore, or maybe just put off worry, until the time is imminent.

There was the usual discussion of dreams of the future on the trip back from Christmas with the family. But road trips do that to my husband, so I didn't worry. But this time he didn't unload these thoughts from his head when he unloaded the bags from the car. I could tell this time was different.

By mid-January, I was in full worry mode. Crying. Lots of crying. "What will the kids think? I am going to miss my two-headed shower. We have the best story-time lady 2 miles from our house. How can I leave all the people I love here? Were we ever really meant to be here? Oh, the humidity! My kids will have to learn to shut the door. What product will I use to keep the frizzies out of my hair? I love my grocery store. We have never gotten the house done where we wanted it. *groan* How will we ever get the house ready to go on the market? Man, I will miss the zoo. And Explora. Have I been holding my husband back because I don't like change? Reed will be so sad when he realizes he can't just go balloon chasing with Daddy on any early-October morning. How will we tell north from south again without the mountains in the east? The kids will really miss children's choir. (And so will I!) Are we really being called away? Didn't I just feel this way about leaving Arkansas? Why do I feel like I'm just getting settled here, getting to LOVE IT here, and it's time to go already?"

In late February, I came to a resolve: My husband has been given gifts to do explosive ministry to lost people in a hurting world. I wanted to see him set free to do great things for the Kingdom!! And I was willing to go anywhere to see that!

So, for a time, I was able to set the worry aside and be excited about the potential! I have even quit nay-saying. (I have always contended that was my job in our relationship!) One of my new answers is, "Yes, it's crazy, but I believe you would be the one who could do it!" Potential is a great place to live!

But now. Now it is public. Now it is real. Now it is imminent.

We are moving.

I am excited. I am sad. I am going.