Poured Out

I know it's been a while since I've posted. Sorry, a lot going on. I've had this on my mind for a while and hopefully I've sharpened my thoughts rather than lost them. (For the record, I have no brain to speak of right now!)

I have felt lately as though I am spent. I know physically I am so falling apart in this pregnancy. I am definitely dragging there. But even beyond that, I have been spent in many areas of my life.

It made me contemplate that cheesy but true preacher illustration about the sponge that must be squeezed out or it will get moldy, or the one about the potter's cup that he fills up to pour out on other creations he is shaping on the potter's wheel. That clicked with me: I have been completely poured out.

But it's not as though I have been doing things in a formally organized ministry. I've just been poured out in everyday life: poured out to my friends, poured out in my family, poured out in potty training (almost literally--I can not tell you how many pans of soaking underwear I have poured out into the laundry).

So this leads me to the drink offering. I have never really understood it and it's place in the sacrifice process. I mean the meat that is offered makes sense because it is used to feed the priests. But the drink offering is simply poured out. Doesn't this seem like a waste?

Yes. I feel a lot of times like what I'm doing is a waste. I mean how many more buckets of underwear water will I pour out before I see results? What good am I when I have no clear answers to offer to those asking? Will I ever be able to say things just once and see immediate action? Will the things I spend hours on each day always be undone within minutes?

At least I know that even in the "waste" there is an offering.

I, Who Am Not a Cryer...(Thoughts on Brett Favre)

I, who am not a cryer, have cried a lot over this Brett Favre situation.

To many (or maybe all) of you this may seem silly. Here is a man who has played football all of his life, who made a decision to retire and then changed his mind.

And really I have wondered why it is such a big deal to me. Is it because as long as I have been a Green Bay Packer fan, there has been a Brett Favre leading the team? Probably at least in part. Is it because I am loyal to a fault? Definitely. Is it because it will damage my fantasy line-up? Probably not.

I think the main reason this has become so personal for me is because it is reminiscent of what my Dad went through, when he was forced to retire earlier than he wanted.

I didn't realize how much this bothered me until I have had to watch Brett go through it in the media.

I have always known that I am deeply moved by stories of a spouse lost in death. Both my parents lost their spouses before they met and had me. But even though that is not a part of my personal family history, it is. I know those people had a part in making my parents who they are today. I have always felt a deep connection to this part of their story.

One story that has always made me cry is when my dad, a few weeks(? months?) after his wife had passed away, went out and laid on her grave and cried. And any story or movie that reminds me of that brings out the tears. When I watched Return to Me, I sobbed through most of the movie.

Now, having seen the treatment of Brett Farve from a team to which he has been so loyal, I have seen that connection to my dad's story again. I have been angry and cried again. My dad was loyal to a company all his working life and when it was sold to out-of-town owners, he was encouraged to move to retirement. I knew at the time (a ninth grader) that this was hurtful, but seeing it happen (through Farve's story) again as an adult, I am more hurt by it personally.

I don't know why people don't honor loyalty. When someone has given all of themselves to a team, or organization, or company, or church, why can they not be given the dignity of making their own choices? Who is it that places themselves above that person to get ahead? I believe those people should be honored EVEN TO THE SLIGHT DETRIMENT of the group.

I am disappointed in the Green Bay Packers. I know there are just a few who are responsible for the management of the organization, and they have lost my trust. I think they have hurt themselves by trying to get ahead. It will take some time and some better choices for me to support these people, and to a point, the team, again.

On the other hand, I commend Brett for his loyalty, even to the end, upholding the dignity of the team and fans of Green Bay. I hope he will make the Jets proud.

Nothing New to Cover the Sun

Looking for curtains for Ashton's room. I am so disappointed. Same ol', same ol'.

Overheard while Cleaning the House for Dinner Guests...

Ashton: Who made your bed?

Reed: Why are you trying to make everything look so fancy?

Random Excitement

These are not in any order or even all on the same level of excitement, but they all bring me joy:

• Ashton can now not only blow bubbles, but catch them again with the wand and blow them again. Bubble recycling!
• We've had rain today from the remnants of Dolly. It was such a nice steady rain--unusual in NM. No thunder.
• We decided to try a different approach to the last half of pregnancy and found out the sex of the baby. (We haven't done that with the other two). It's a boy! But the most exciting result of the ultrasound is that the baby measured 12 days ahead of schedule and that may mean we get to move the due date up to 12/8!
• My hubby got me a new set of silverware! We have been running out of cereal spoons since a few of our spoons have had a trip to the garbage disposal, and we all use the same size now! So now we have service for 12(!) or three days of cereal for a family of four!
• I found bing cherries for $.99 a pound at the farmer's market! I snatched them right up!
• We went swimming yesterday and I got to wear my "new" cute maternity swimsuit! Thank you Stephanie! The kids did great without floaties! Ashton still needs a hand, of course, but I can really see the swim lessons paying off!

My Husband's a Better Homemaker than I

I spent 3 days plus on a ladies' retreat in the beautiful mountains of New Mexico.

My husband was very willing, but also reluctant to let me go. He had never had the kids on his own overnight before, much less three nights and days and with a Sunday morning in the mix. He was really worried about doing Ashton's hair.

So when I got home I found

• He had Ashton's hair in cute low pigtails.
• They had not eaten out the entire time I was gone.
• He ran the dishwasher everyday, finding things around the house to put in it.
• HE CLEANED THE OVEN! (and the pans under the burners)
  
• He did at least two loads of laundry.
• He finished the landscaping wall in the front yard. (So he did this on top of everything else.)
• He had the kids clean their room everyday before supper!

I think I can safely plan many more trips on my own.

But I wouldn't want to. I missed them all too much!

Look at Your Profile

Everyone is on a blog hiatus today for some reason. Which is sad for me because I'm needing some outside adult conversation. But it leads me to look at other things on your pages. So I ask you to go to your own pages and check your profile. Some are fine, but some are way outdated!

Oh, and I know I can't complain about taking a break from blogging!