Monday, April 14, 2008

Seeking Advice

Okay! This is an interactive blog. If your read it I expect you to comment at the end. I have a problem and I am seeking advice. I mean it, people!!!!! This is serious.

Here is the Problem: MY SON IS SOOOOO LOUD!

I knew going into parenting that girls talk and boys make noise. I was okay with that. And I have a very verbal son. When he hears a new word, he assimilates it into his vocabulary within the day.

But the Noises! They seriously drive me to the point of insanity sometimes. And I can't just send him outside because we have neighbors six feet on either side of us. I don't even know how to best describe the noises in words. There are screams, high-pitched whoops, and growls. Make all those sounds to yourself for the next five minutes and see if you annoy yourself.

And then when we get to the words, most of these are said in range that communicates to the very hard of hearing. I SAID THE VERY HARD OF HEARING. Do you get the picture? He seems to have no ability to speak in an appropriate volume.

My real concern is for Reed as he grows and gets new friends. Will he drive them away? Already I feel like some of his friends notice his volume and comment on it. He's almost five! Will he grow out of it, or do I need to start addressing it for his own benefit? And, if so, HOW? Most of the times I make it an issue, I have to yell just to get his attention! That seems a little counter productive.

So now it's your turn. Weigh in as a mother of boy, former boy, neighbor of boy, observer of boy, empathetic ear, wise counselor, etc. Please!


Kari said...

Im not sure I have any good advice but a couple of ideas popped in my head. First, Im sure youve had his hearing checked but if not start there. Second, have you tried making a game out of it. Reed lets practice using our inside voice and now our loud voice etc.

You are so creative that I am sure you have already tried this but modeling can be helpful! Update when youve licked the problem!

Anonymous said...

Sara instructed everyone who reads this to reply. So I am replying:



Anonymous said...

I am commenting as the sympathetic ear and as the girl with no parenting experience whatsoever... my first thoughts are:

1. check hearing
2. google "loud child"
3. buy earplugs

Or maybe you should start with the earplugs.

Carolyn :)

Stephanie said...

Okay first of all 5! Not possible! 5 YEARS OLD! Can't be!

Okay! Recompose myself.

I agree with Carolyn's thoughts, all of them 1, 2 and 3.

It is certainly not a girl vs. a boy thing because Caitlyn is VERY LOUD. I am sure that the only way she knows the sound the letter a makes is if she hollars it (at the top of her lungs).

Few suggestions: Go the school teacher route. This is the behavior I expect and at the end of the day when you have x number of stickers you get positive reward or x number of marks = consequences. Since you let him turn 5 (or almost 5) then that's what I would do. Again I can't believe he is almost 5!!!!! WOW

You asked should you be correcting it and I think yes. I am already doing that with Caitlyn if not for social reasons but for my own personal reasons of sanity. Although I'm not going as far as I suggested in the paragraph above.

I would suggest, (although would probably need to be reminded 9 out of 10 times) to whisper to get his attention when he can't hear when he is being so loud with his noises. Or clap better yet! Pulling out all the teacher tricks, huh?

You were also concerned with sending him outside and that his noises would bother the neighbors. Too bad! That is their civic duty to take one for the neighbors. Send him outside and enjoy sometime to yourself girl!!!!!!

Now saying all that, I will definitely stay poste to further comments because truly I have no idea what I'm talking about. So I'd love to hear comments that are tried and trued! Oh yeah and fool proof!!!!

JennT said...

If you can summarize your kid's inappropriate behavior into one word, then I don't have a lot of sympathy. But then if this is just the most annoying, then I may be willing to help. We have "this is run-around-like-a -crazy-man" time and this is NOT "run-around-like-a -crazy-man"time. When we confuse those two times and have received a warning, we often lose what is near and dear to us- a power ranger. And then we ask for the next 12 hours when we might get it back...

Sara said...

Thank you for all your comments so far. No this is not our only problem, just the most irritating (at the present moment). And the doctor's visit at four was a terrible experience for everyone involved. We're hoping the 5 year visit is better and will let us add the hearing test.

And he said today, after making a noise, "I love being irritating!"

Stephanie said...

Oh I love the 2 differiented times that Jenn T offered and how great to put them in kid related terms! I might just use that!!!

Anonymous said...

Hi, Sara! Yes, this is Kimberly, your niece! I just read your blog about housework and took a good look at my house and decided to comment on your blog rather than take your advice on housework:) Maybe tomorrow, I'll make another schedule for myself. I do much better at making schedules than I do sticking to them!!!
About your question... as you know, our daughter Kaylee is deaf in one ear. She always was a little loud but I always thought it was just being a child or ear wax. I never really suspected hearing loss because she responded to every noise she heard (if we'd clap behind her, etc.) Quick question... does he seem to get louder in noisy environments like restaurants or the like? Sometimes this can be just being a kid but I know that Kaylee gets louder as things get louder so she can hear herself. Does he ever turn his head when you talk to him? Kaylee does this so she can hear from her good ear. These were all things that were happening for awhile but we never noticed until we knew she had hearing loss.

My advice would be to stay positive... instead of ... "BE QUIET" or "Why do you have to be soooo loud?", say something like, "use your quiet voice" or "let's talk a little quieter." I would tell him, sweetly, if he's being a little too loud in public. He truly may not know and who better than to tell him than his parents. Having said that, I am far from a parenting expert and rarely have advice but I have experienced several loud children:) Kimberly

Holly said...

Don't worry about your neighbors. When you need a need a break!

Lisa said...

HI Stephanie!! Remember me? We had a similar idea for Sara. My first thought was to talk extra soft and quiet to him. If the atmosphere is soft and quiet, maybe he'll imitate?? Assimilate?? Want to fit in? Realize for himself how obnoxious he is?

p.s. I love Reed.