That's Not What I Had in Mind

What I said: "Go play quietly in your room."
What she heard: "Go take everything off of your shelves and dump it on the floor."

What I said: "Somebody let the dog in."
What they heard: "Run to the back door screaming about who gets to let the dog in."

What I said: "No, you may not have a third story before bed."
What he heard: "I am going to sell you to a pack of gypsies."

What I said: "Go wash your hands in the bathroom."
What they heard: "Go fill the sink in the bathroom, add some soap suds, and give yourself a cool hair do."

What I said: "Put this stack of laundry in your drawer."
What he heard: "Take this stack of laundry, unfold it, stuff it in the right drawer, but please under any circumstances, do not close the drawer again."


What I said: "Work together to clean up this mess."
What he heard: "Boss your sister into doing whatever you want her to do, and if she doesn't, threaten to spank her."
What she heard: "Lay on the floor and tell me how tired you are. Also, please run to me screaming if Reed threatens to spank you."


What I said: "Be careful to not get ketchup from your corndog on your shirt."
What she heard: "Use the corndog as a brush, the shirt as a canvas, a this ketchup as your medium, my precious little budding artist!"