Because I Need to Remember (And, Currently, be Reminded)

Oh, Landis. My dear Landis. You are ... 3 ... and a half... and I ... love you for so many reasons. The following is certainly not an exhaustive list.

• You love to eat "swaaan-wiches."
• You are learning what not to put down the toilet (i.e.--paper clips, pennies, rags, etc.).
• You are learning to, at least, clean up what doesn't [& should] go into the toilet.
• You no longer have to wonder what will happen if you pour all your pennies into Mom & Dad's fan.
• You want to give your money to God so much that you put your pressed souvenir Disney penny into the offering.
• You could exist for weeks at a time on cheese & tortillas.
• You affirm you know how to readjust your attitude when you state, "I willn't do it again."

For these reasons, and many, many more, I celebrate who you are and who you are becoming.

2011 A Year in Review: True Confessions of a Homeschooling Mom & Church-Planting Wife

A Christmas letter.... A Christmas letter. Always one of those things that I expect I'll have time for this year. Always one of those things that gets put on the back burner, only to get burned in the end. A yearly blog? Now maybe THAT is something I can do! :) If you want a good look into the lives of the Ryan Nelson Family, I invite you to read on.

Most of you know that November 2010 marked the official beginning of 33Church, so it makes sense that this would define much of our year. I can tell you that we have learned so much about the exceeding riches of God's grace in this journey. Because of our responsibility at 33 in its early days, we stuck close to home for most of the year. Our church changed meeting locations in the summer, moving to a school that was much more interested in our partnering with them to meet needs in the community. It has been a great move for us, not without challenges or questions, but deeply enriching. One lesson we have learned, and continue to learn, is to put our trust in God, not man. It is amazing that we can daily be made even more aware of how without God we are nothing, yet with him we can be more than we imagine.

Ryan had the opportunity to coach Reed's basketball and soccer teams early in the year. While it didn't make sense with the amount of pressure he felt with his new role as lead minister, it was an opportunity to get into the community in a way that he couldn't pass up. We also decided if he could lead a group of first and second graders to play the game, he would be able to lead people in a journey of starting a church!

Sledding during February Blizzard

The Blizzard of February '11 was fun for all. Daddy was able to go out the morning it started for emergency supplies of donuts and hot chocolate. Then we were all able to hunker down a few days and enjoy the slow down. You see the kids sledding down our neighbor's hill, which I could watch warmly from the back door! We discussed our "snow day policy" and decided that if the snow caused the roof to cave in, making it impossible to get to school, we would in fact cancel school. However, we did enjoy a few days of doing nothing, then got back at it. I kept telling the kids it would pay off in the spring. When I found out our local school district was not making up the snow days, we ended school a week early!! That was a good pay off!

One great institution we have made this year is coffee time for Mom & Dad. Since our move, Ryan had started drinking coffee, a bond that was really exciting for me! So I was extremely delighted when he started making coffee every morning and bringing it to me in bed! And for his birthday in September we took it to a new level, getting a mini fridge for the bedroom (for the creamer, of course) and moving the coffee pot upstairs. We enjoy starting most of our days with this time just talking and being together. It is a our time for discussing, regrouping, planning, reflecting, praying, and encouraging, though there is no set plan or agenda for the time. Every morning is different, and that is part of its beauty.

First Day of School 2011-2012

Ashton, K; Landis, PreK; Reed, 3rd

Last school year was our first--and I've decided probably our last--normal school year. (Reed's K year we had Landis, and in 1st grade we moved.) It has been an adjustment this year teaching two at the same time and accounting for their different learning styles, but they are patient with me! While I love homeschooling our kids, I do not think that I am "thriving," as I read so many other homeschool moms described. I do approach almost all weeks with a lesson plan and almost always get up and dressed before school time (except on our once-a-semester Pajama Day). The moments of understanding are sweet, but the times when all three kids (& sometimes the dog) are all vying for my attention are overwhelming. The days where every task is met with a whine+shoulder drop cause me to really examine my calling. I am hanging on to the idea that "The days are long, but the years are short." I know my time is precious with the kids, and I want to spend that time teaching them grace. I also struggle with household upkeep, and I am finding that teaching the kids to do these jobs does not lighten my load! But I am learning in God's grace (again!) that these things do not matter as much as "Watch this, mom" "Can we read..." and " I need help with...." However, we have regular "zone cleaning" so I don't go completely off the deep end. I have also recently had the epiphany that a family that stays home all day puts loads of more housework on me. It makes sense, I know, but I haven't always given myself this allowance.

Ashton has been able to conquer a new frontier for us. We were able to get her into a one-day-a-week Homeschool Academy in Kindergarten. This is a school we have tried to get Reed into for 2 years, but his grade is extremely full and unmoving!! However, because she got in this year, her siblings will be able to get in starting next year. The waiting is hard on him, but he is usually gracious.

One of the things we love about homeschooling is the flexible schedule it allows our family. While we still find ourselves getting into a rut, we do make efforts to break the norm! Shortly after school started this fall, we made a special announcement to the kids about a fall vacation. They didn't believe us at first, but we were finally able to convince them that we were in fact going to Disney World the end of September. Much screaming ensued, and even a few tears of joy!

We will all tell you that it truly was a magical experience. While it was hot and tiring, no one complained or whined. That time of year was perfect--not too hot, and the lines were incredibly short at the parks. We had planned to camp on the way down, but rain prevented that the first night, and then gave us a very "camping" experience the second night complete with wet bedding, pending thunder & lightning, a noisy neighbor, and a NOAA weather radio alert (which turned out to be nothing). We spent the first day at Epcot, 2 days at Magic Kingdom, & the last at Animal Kingdom.

Our First Magical Day

Reed especially loved the "Future World" part of Epcot, where he could create his own roller coaster & video game, and interact with some of the video characters. Landis called this icon "the big golf ball." When we rode the history of the earth ride inside of it, Ashton did NOT like the dark (even though it was slow and kinda like just seeing museum) and declared in the first 30 seconds, in her shakiest voice, "So far I'm hating it!!!"

Ashton DELIGHTED in Meeting the "Big 5" Characters

Fortunately, she was later able to stand in line and meet Micky, Minnie, Donald, Pluto, & Goofy. The child-like delight she had truly brought tears to my eyes.

Landis Was Glad Tigger & Pooh Did Not Bite Us

Landis, however, did not want to meet any character or ride any rides! We did convince him to pose here with Tigger & Pooh (his current Disney favorites) and afterwards he declared, "See, they didn't bite us!!"

Riding the Magic Carpets

Here is one of the rides Landis decided he didn't want to ride while we were in line. We were able to convince him in most instances, but he would not put up with anymore 3D movies by the end. Disney adds sprays of water, air puffs, and other tactile experiences that we finally had to shield him from just to get him to stay with us.

A Little Silliness on our Way Out the Last Day

Maybe because it was our last day, Animal Kingdom was our least favorite park. It had great animal displays, but the rides are more zoo-like than amusement-like. However, the Lion King show was completely worth the price of admission!! Great costuming, singing, & pageantry!

Enjoying Daytona Beach

We capped off the vacation with two days at Daytona with Grandpa Dallas & Grandma Pat. We stayed on the beach to maximize our time in the sand & sea. The kids were able to learn sand castle building from the best, my dad. All of us relished the time together with Grandpa & Grandma just relaxing for a couple days.

Landis & Grandpa Return from a Walk Down the Beach

Landis did not really want anything to do with the water, but he did enjoy digging & digging in the sand. Reed & Ashton, however, spent most of their time in the water, even using their life jackets as boogie boards for a while.

Reed Showing Off a Christmas Gift & a Missing Tooth

Reed continues to delight us with his sense of humor and quick thinking. He has always impressed us with his math mind, and now he has gotten to the point where we can't keep enough books around. He especially loves a good mystery. He is always amazing us with his new creations, whether with blocks or cardboard and tape. For Ashton's birthday he made her a cardboard box city that she could use to play with her dollhouse.

A Self Portrait of Ashton

Ashton loves going to school on Wednesdays. We have seen she is a much quieter leader in that environment, but we can still see glimpses of our little mommy even there. At home she is taking to reading much faster than I was teaching her! She is a great caretaker to us all. She knows where things are, brings us things we might need (before we know we need it!), and loves to serve us. She is quite the giver, wrapping up things from around her room to give away on birthdays or "just because." Ashton loves to take pictures (as you see above) and got her first camera for Christmas.

Landis' First Black Eye--Likely Not the Last

Landis is a delightful challenge. We love hearing him use new words, and he loves to make us all laugh. He is a very physical little boy. This black eye was a run-in with the entertainment center. One of the things he learned last year was what can and cannot be thrown in the house. Squishy balls are approved; hard balls, toys, butter knives, books, game pieces, pencils, crayons, food, shoes, and fits are not. He is quite grown up these days. He makes me toast for breakfast nearly every morning. He toasts the bread in the toaster oven, sets the timer, gets it out with some wooden tongs, butters it, and delivers it to the table. (Sometimes I request a knife to spread the butter glob out a bit more.) Then he sits on my lap and waits for me to "eat it down" (to the top crust) so that he can eat the rest of it.

28 Weeks Pregnant

Our biggest change in 2012 will be the addition of another kiddo to the mix. Right now we don't even know if God has blessed us with a boy or a girl, but we are all excited! Ashton was particularly wanting a a sister, but then someone commented that she wouldn't be the only princess in the family. Now I think she will be happy either way! The kids are dying to know the names we have picked out, but they will have to wait, just like the rest of you. Until then Ryan keeps throwing out names like Bubba (a girl) and Buford. March 10 is the due date, but if baby decides to come 10 days early, we will have a Leap Day birthday!

Baby Nelson 28.5 Weeks Along

We think s/he is pretty beautiful. Since Christmas, we have moved our focus to getting ready for this arrival. Reed and Ashton have moved into bunk beds, and Landis has moved into a big boy bed down the hall. (His big lesson of 2012 might just be how to play/talk/close doors more quietly!) Baby will be sharing a room with our guest bed, so if you come to visit, you will get a chance to heat up a bottle and change a diaper or two.... ;)

I hope you have enjoyed this little glimpse into our lives. We love to keep up with all of you and hear what is going on with you. If I don't write again until next year, please accept my apologies.

Until then, Love,

Anniversary Log

A couple years ago, I started something I wish I had done many years ago. I made an official record of all the ways we had celebrated our anniversary. If you want to see them all, here is the original list. Let me just add a few updates.

• 2010--Having moved to Olathe, we made a trip back to Albuquerque to help with the Pendergrass/Stoddard nuptials on the 12th. And when I say help, I mean it was a little bit of a Nelson side show. (Of course, when isn't it with my three lovelies?) Ryan stood up as a groomsman & performed part of the ceremony. Reed & Landis were ring bearers & Ashton a flower girl. Ryan & I even sang. We were blessed to be so involved with Amanda & PD at the beginning of their marital journey! While we were in Abq we were able to leave the kids at Miss Jacqui's (again!) for an evening, go BACK to that fab restaurant Antiquity, and spend the evening at MCM Elegante.
• 2006--Yes, I realize this is out of chronological order, but I have to take memories as they come or they are gone just as fast. Being part of the wedding last year reminded me that we were also blessed to be part of the ceremony of the Frazier/Smith on the 10th in 2006. Ryan performed the ceremony & I dusted off my wedding coordinator skills for the weekend. The evening of our 11th anniversary we enjoyed a delightful rehearsal dinner with Johanna & Ian and the wedding party.
• 2011--So, present day, we spent celebrating a few days early with an evening at the Holiday Inn (we love Hotwire.com) and splurged on room service! Our big kiddos were with Grandma & Grandpa for the week of VBS and Landis spent the night with our dear friends here in KC, the Kelly family. The day of our anniversary, Ryan worked all day on a treehouse for the kids (to surprise them). He, of course, asked for my blessing first. I told him later, I cannot think of anything that better embodies the blessings we have experienced in our marriage.

It is ultimately romantic. The thought would have delighted me on the day of our wedding. In fact, it still does.

I am a Person

If I hear or see any more references to Brent Favre, I just might spit.

Yes. I'm mad.

Ryan & I have been involved in ministry for more than 15 years. In that time we have hastily finished up a ministry before we were ready. It was very much a growing-up period, where we learned to keep our mouths shut for the greater good, & it definitely strengthened our bond to each other. The lessons I learned there are priceless, and some I don't care to have to learn again! :)

We had worked for years building up a church and its people. We knew we did not want our labor to be in vein by destroying what we had worked to build. Some of our relationships have continued; others have waned. We know that life has gone on there without us, as it should have and as we have wanted. Some people have already forgotten about us, I'm sure. But I sure do hope that when they speak of their current success, they don't say, "We don't need that Brain & Kara!!" (hahaha, yuk, yuk, yuk, let's make a t-shirt that says that)! That would break. my. heart.

Because I'm a person. With feelings. I treat with respect. I expect to be treated likewise.

The Blessing of Submission

That's right. Blessing and submission. Together. Written by a woman. Read on, if you dare.

I have been mulling over this post in my mind for many weeks. It's not a topic on which one can spout off opinions without considering all sides for a while. I doubt I have a concrete answer for everything yet. However, I thought I'd post it now since our 33Homes and Worship Gathering focused on Genesis 3 this past week. There was SO MUCH in this story that had never been in there before.... Ok, maybe that was just me having missed it.

Here's the basic story, but I would recommend you also read it for yourself here. (If you don't like that version, feel free to change it on the drop-down list at the top of that page.) Adam & Eve have the run of the Garden of Eden, which God "had planted" (not just created, but planted!) and placed them in. There is only one tree that he tells them not to eat from, a fruit that will take away their innocence. They were naked and happy, just like my 2-year-old running diaperless to the bath. God offers a choice: love & obey me, or don't. Then Satan shows up and confuses them. Long story short: Eve eats, Adam follows, mankind is cursed. Part of that curse: Woman will have greatly increased pain in childbirth (thank you very much!) and her husband will rule over her.

So how can submission be a blessing and a curse? It is a curse in the re-organization of creation. It is a blessing when it is honored.

Allow me to use the first aspect of the curse to illustrate the second. Having experienced natural un-medicated childbirth three times, I can tell you that pains in childbirth are ... oh... let's say, significant. (This begs the question: what was the original plan for a no-pain or low-pain childbirth??) But having come through on the other side? Oh yeah, worth it. Not just the baby, but having made it through that experience and survived made me feel so powerful! It was a role in our family that was uniquely mine, and I did it! *blessing* Did I do it alone? Uh, no. Could not have done it without my coach, leader, encourager, counter, support--my husband. He loved and led me through the entire process. (And it was, at times, not pretty....) I was able to respond to his lead to thrive in my role.

The same is true for submission. Is it a painful process? Sometimes, yes, especially when I try to assert my own will into it. I believe God created women with the same creativity to meet life issues as he created man. The curse is to reign it in to submit to someone else's plan over yours. Does a blessing come from carrying it out? Absolutely! I have learned over and over (somehow it doesn't stick the first time) that getting my own way in a matter is not always best. I have lived a much fuller life by doing things I wouldn't have decided to do on my own! *blessing* Again, I am able to do it best when I am responding to the love with which my husband surrounds and leads me. He does this, from Ephesians 5:

• ²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

We are, by no means, perfect at this! We follow in Adam & Eve's footsteps and find ourselves giving in to Satan's confusing talk. We struggle to keep God first and each other ahead of ourselves. But when we love and submit: *blessing*.

Blessed Lesson

We had a stark reminder this week that how you treat people is important. Sometimes we go through life acting as though we are anonymous, that what we do with those we do not know is not important. That is not always true.

We had a great trip to Wisconsin to see Ryan's family. We met at a lodge in La Crosse, which is about 7 hours from us. It's a pretty easy trip, especially having been used to trips from Albuquerque and we agreed that this might have been the easiest in a while. We listened to the "Chronicles of Narnia" CD set we got last year for Christmas. The kids were enthralled. We stopped for supper at a gas station/Arby's combo place and did an all in one stop. There was another family there of a mom with 4 elementary kids on her own. I was admiring her from afar, especially when she spilled her drink and kept her cool. Ryan told the employees that a mop was needed, and also complimented the mom on how well her oldest son had taken care of things while she was in the restroom.

Farther on down the road we got some exciting news. A friend of Ryan's sent an email inviting us to Thanksgiving dinner, but also offering us a van that some of her out-of-town family was wanting to give away. I don't think she knew that we had been looking to buy this very same van in the spring but had decided to squeeze more life out of ours as long as we could. We could not believe God's blessing!

We got home Friday evening and made arrangements to meet them to pick it up and go over how things work. They were leaving for home the next morning and we were just excited to see the van even though we had a cranky toddler.

Imagine our surprise when we met the generous family and recognized them as THAT VERY SAME FAMILY from that random restaurant in Iowa. I was glad we didn't have to be embarrassed at how we had treated them, and that they had felt blessed (however slight) by us in that moment. We all had fun putting together the details and sharing how we had felt at the time.

How incredible is God in his timing, in how he teaches us, and in how he blesses us!

Halloween Fun

This week the kids had a carnival for which I volunteered (read: was cornered) to make 5 dozen cookies. I decided to make a day of it and have some fun and school at the same time. Tons of math: halving recipes, counting dozens, grouping by dozens & counting extras. Reading: recipe. Art: Cookie decorating. We did our reading and spelling assignment to keep up with the week, but the rest of the day was cookies!

The Recipe Reader

The Pourers

First we mixed up these Sugar Cut-out Cookies so the dough could chill in the frigde for a while. We did half of this recipe and got probably 20 pretty big cut outs and a little extra dough for sneaking. They turned out pretty sturdy, but I have learned from my baking past to always grease the pan for cutouts, even when the recipe says not to. We let the dough chill for about 3 hours while we baked the other cookies and had lunch.

I wanted to do the shape cut-outs, but I knew that decorating them with icing would be too much for me. So we used candy corn and chocolate chips and inserted them as soon as they came out of the oven. Lazy, but still cute. Eyes on the moons and ghosts are pieces of candy corn. The ghosts were my favorite.

Then we made these easy Ghost Cookies. We used Vienna Fingers instead of Nutter Butters because of Ashton's peanut sensitivity.

Finally we ventured into Martha Stewart world with these Pumpkin Whoopie Pies. I shied away from choosing them at first, but they turned out to be pretty easy. The batter is pretty runny, but it bakes up well. And adding pumpkin to the filling makes it separate a bit, so if that bothers you skip it. I also added more powdered sugar to the filling.

This pic was when Landis found a way to look at the counter full of cooling cookies. I was so excited to be almost done, I forgot to take a picture of the finished product!

All in all, a fun day, and educational to boot!

Homeschool

There are times that I feel guilty for finishing our planned "morning" school work early. Like today. Language arts, Bible, and math all done by 11:07. Maybe I should fill up this time with more school. Review? Practice? Educational game?

But at the suggestion, my students balk. When morning school is done, they get to play together.

So I relent. Extra recess it is.

And I am so glad I did.

Because right now the three of them are working on a movie set. They are planning on "making" a movie with the video baby monitor.

That is not an educational experience you capture in a lesson plan.

Where Were You When

September 11 was a date I had been anticipating for a week or so. It was going to be the first teacher's potluck luncheon of the school year. Endless goodies in the teacher's lounge for hours on end. My first break was at 10:30 central time when my first graders went to music.

The party room was remarkably empty. Undaunted, I filled my plate with a few good snacks and some obligatory vegetables, and sat for the first time that morning. A few minutes later, the librarian walked in, looked at me enjoying my full plate, and declared, "You haven't seen a TV yet." I confirmed I had not. Any teacher will tell you when you close your door in the morning, you create a world separate from reality, limiting your connection to a rare drop-in by the principal or another teacher looking for extra supplies. We likened it to being in a cave.

I remember her telling me two planes had flown into the twin towers and they had "fallen down." I had no comprehension of what she might mean. "What do you mean 'fallen down'?" I asked. "I mean they are just gone," she answered.

While I still couldn't fully understand (I was envisioning the top third of the buildings broken off), suddenly my plate was not so appetizing.

I did not see a replay of that sickening video of the crumbling buildings until arriving home that afternoon. What I remember most clearly from that day was the thought immediately brought to mind: "God you are all-powerful! You are in control!"

How could this be my reaction to such a gut-wrenching scene? Because of the grace of Jesus I understand that my God is more powerful than those who brought on this great tragedy, more powerful that the engineers that designed such marvelous buildings. He is still in control in the most horrific of situations and weeps with those are hurting. He allows free will and the consequences that are brought upon because of it, but he is not overcome by it!

We said then "We Will Never Forget." I sincerely hope we don't. It is a story that I have begun to tell my little class at home. But the lesson goes beyond US history or even the stories of valiant heros who faced tragedy. They are a part of His story.

It is about a God who is all-powerful, always in control.

The Passing of Summer

I keep hearing people talk about the weather: how great is the weather, it's so nice outside, I love this time of year. Yes, it's nice, I agree. But with this weather, at this point on the calendar, it only means one thing. Summer is over.

I like summer.

I know it's hot. I know the kids get restless. I know it's tornado season. But life in the summer is just easier!

You get to sleep in. (Okay, well I do. I have trained my kids to allow this to happen.)

You can send the kids outside to lower the noise level.

You can get SOOO much accomplished.

You can do nothing.

You can plan things in advance or at the last minute.

You can fit clothes for the whole family into one overnight bag.

You can suggest to grill and have hubby end up cooking the entire meal!

It just seems that in summer everything is easier. But for me it's more than that.

Summer is the epitome of youth. Carefree freedom... Windows down... U2 blaring.... Every relationship holds mystery and expectant longing.

The smell of a river or sound of the cicada's song diverts me back to a time when life was simple and the possibilities were vast. The humid wind blowing through my hair as I drive seems to clear my head of all the grown-up junk that clutters it, making me feel, if only for a moment, like I am innocent and frivolous again. The giggle or hollered "MOM!" from the back seat that pulls me back to reality does not disappoint me, but rather brings my years of experience and responsibilities back to mind. There is no doubt: I would not trade now for then. But the moment has been sweet.

So with the passing of Labor Day and with the autumnal equinox rushing towards us, I lament the passing of summer. While winter days hold a certain allure for me, they are not nearly as charming as summer.

So, Summer, thanks for the perspective. Until next year....

In Training

I am in the trenches potty training my youngest right now. Yes, he is only 20 months old. Yes, I am quite possibly insane. (Not sure that was ever in question though....) Yes, I do own a carpet cleaner and a great washing machine. No, I did not do this this early with either of my other two.

Some of the my random thoughts on the whole potty training process:

• Our moms had us trained earlier because washing underwear is not any different that washing cloth diapers.
• For 2-3 years we "train" our babies to go in diapers. "No! Don't pee on the carpet! Let me put your diaper back on!" Then we want them to just decide to do it differently in a weekend.
• No matter what article you read, it will be messy.
• We are told that the best time to start this process is around 2.5. You may or may not realize that this coincides with the TERRIBLE TWOS! "Now that you are realizing you have a free will, I would like to assert my opinion that you should pee in the potty."
• We are also told not to start if the child has had lately or will have upcoming unusual circumstances (i.e.--teething, new sibling, sickness, trip away from home, company in the home, family transition, holidays.... Read: their entire childhood.)
• And, yet another thing we are told: we should block off some time in our calendar (anywhere from a weekend to 3 weeks) to devote to this project. Do not plan to go anywhere for a week. REALLY, who can do this? I have never been able to find more than a 3-day stretch to carve out of my schedule, and this doesn't get it done. Which brings me to my next point...
• If your child does train in a weekend, sign them up for gifted testing. Because they are exceptional. And also, please don't tell any of the rest of us about it.

Lessons on Church Planting Learned from our Backyard (I hope)

Last fall my family moved from the high-desert dirt of Albuquerque, NM to the humid, shocking-green climate of the mid-west. We had intended to move in the summer, but God eased us into this muggy climate gradually. We moved here to plant a church! We set to our task with excitement, ready to move ahead wherever we could!

This spring the kids and I planted a small garden--our first attempt at green thumbs. I had wanted to do this for years, but finally gained the courage to forge ahead. The previous owners had sustained two entire families with a garden encompassing most of the yard. Surely we could grow a few measly vegetable plants! Plus it was a good end-of-year school project! We used it as a springboard for researching the best plants for children's gardens, the last frost date for our area, and even budgeting for our supplies. We tracked the sun for a few days to find the best spot for our little plot of ground, did a couple do-at-home soil tests, and talked to the lady at Lowe's about what critters we needed to keep out. We picked a good parcel of land on the back edge of the yard, where the grass was flourishing, just in front of the shed where we could store our tools! We prepared the ground, put up a fence, brought out our seedlings. A very good learning experience!

Sar-y, Sar-y, quite contrary, how does your garden grow? you ask. Well..... not so good. Quite possibly.... not at all....

I can blame the tomato-eating squirrel in May. I can blame the torrents of rain that pelted our little plants in June. But really the blame lies with me. (Sigh.)

You see, I thought doing a few days or weeks of research would be good enough. But I didn't really know my yard.

A couple weeks in, we went out in the morning to weed. I commented, "What a blessing! Our garden is in the shade in the morning! We will be able to work without the sun making us too hot!"

A few weeks later, our tiny plants were struggling, at best. Our plot basked in the sun for only a few hours each day. I began to worry.

Yes, the sun continued to shift in the sky as the calendar headed toward summer soltice. Our garden got less and less sun each day until there was none. Shaded from dawn till dusk, it was a spot better planned for two posts and a hammock. We hadn't spent the time in this yard to see what was now obvious.

Which brings us back to our original task: planting a church. Yes, it seems that planting a church could be remarkably similar to planing a garden. (Yikes!) Could our little black-thumbed family do it? Fortunately, we have been able to learn a few of these lessons second-hand from a book called "Church in the Making" by Ben Arment. Ben, as a former church planter, has been coaching Ryan in 2010. His advice: slow down and quit trying to build a church. Rather begin to grow roots in the community. Spend some time getting to know people and letting them get to know you. You know the old saying, "They don't care how much you know... blah, blah, blah."

Our garden is not completely without life now. We have two little pole bean plants who are climbing their way to the sun, I'm sure. A garden remnant, if you will. And one other product of our gardening endeavor: a very rich compost pile. It seems as though God is good at making lush soil with our trash. We know that's true spiritually, too, so hopefully that will make for some fertile soil when the time comes to plant this church.

In the meantime, we sit, we watch, we talk, we plan, we pray, we wait for God, and we look to learn more from our backyard.

To My Best Friend's Daughter

No, you are not my own daughter. You are the precious daughter of a dear friend. But I loved your mom more that you could have known. And that love that I had for her has poured over into a love for you. I ache now in her absence, though not nearly as much as you. You are paused here, looking ahead to your adult life, looking back at a childhood that seems so long ago. I cannot take away the pain you feel right now.

I wish so much that it was not like this. I wish that she was still here, loving you through these difficult years. I wish that you could share your teenage secrets with her and hear again the secrets that she and I shared during those formidable years.

Your mother was my best friend. She got made at me once for saying about another girl that "she was the best friend I had ever had." I didn't blame her after I stopped and saw the reality of the situation. Your mom had stuck by me through failure, mistakes, and misplaced value, not to mention quite a few passing crushes and camp boyfriends! She much more deserved the title of "best friend I had ever had" than that other girl.

It's odd, now that I look back on it. Your mom was one of the only BF relationships I have had (except my husband) that survived an occasional fight. While many friends would move on, she did not. We were able to forgive and move on. Actually, I can only recall times where I received forgiveness, rather than offered it. Her consistency blessed me over and over!

I remember her coming to church. First alone, then with her brother, then with her mom. Our church loved them all. Her faith was so pure. She knew that God was her Father, that He had picked her as His very own child.

I want to tell you now what she would want you to remember--something so many teenage girls forget. Your worth is not determined by where you live or how you look or who likes you. Your worth is not even determined by how you act or what you wear! God is your Father. He has determined your worth is IT IS GREAT! So great that He paid the price for you with His very own Son, Jesus! You are a blessed child to Him, not just to those who have and will raise you here on this earth! Even a mother's or father's love could not compare to His!! Even in your time of grief and loss, He is there, drawing you to Him. He knows your pain and He hurts for you. But He also knows the plans He has for you, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11). He has not brought you to this place to leave you.

Your mother was a loving friend and mother who we will never replace. In her faith and in her fallenness, she showed that her life was not what she made of it, but what He made of it. Her life was a reflection of His grace--His grace that is evident even now in you. Your mother was His child. She sits with Him even now.

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit" (Romans 15:13).

Grace

I wrote this blog quite awhile ago, but it just wasn't falling into place. This morning, I heard a Scripture that gave me new understanding and completed the puzzle I was trying to put together. (Isn't it amazing how the Word and the Spirit work together to do this for us?) So here it is, dusted it off, polished up, and hopefully a little bit clearer.

One of the greatest blessings I have been experiencing lately is a new understanding of grace. I hope by sharing this with you, I will further understand what God is doing in me, but also encourage you in your search for God.

I have known for years that it is not up to me to make me "good." Which I know is a very good thing, because I will never be able to do that. I have tried. It ain't happening. I can do alright for awhile, but not for very long. The trouble has come for me when I have tried to apply that. How can I let Jesus make me whole, not just after I have messed up, but before? I am still the one making the choices that are good or bad, so....

Lately God has helped me understand he is always offering me grace, in my good moments, and my bad. All I have to do is take it, and then realize it's all from him. I have come to think of it as "Proactive Grace" and "Retroactive Grace." I have needed a LOT of retroactive grace in life and have happily accepted it. I have received a lot of proactive grace also, but I have just recently realized it!! It has completely transformed how I think about my walk with Christ!

To illustrate: One rainy morning (in a string of many) in the fall, I announced to the children that before we started school, we would make a special trip out to go through the nearby Starbucks drive-thru for a pumpkin latte and kiddie drinks of their choice. They opted to get one hot chocolate and one carmel apple cider and split them at home. We brought them into the house so we could pour them into separate cups before they had even sampled a sip. Well, you can see where this is going....

Reed received proactive grace in this situation when he placed his cup firmly upon the table. Ashton received retroactive grace after she set her cup halfway on the table and it toppled to the floor. Sometimes grace comes in the form of a fabulous lid which stays in place upon impact. This day it did not, but rather in a towel and few comforting words.

Both Reed and Ashton know how to place a drink on the table, and each have done so many times with great success. And there have been a few times when they haven't. Each time it has been grace that has made it right.

Titus 2:11-14 offered an even greater lightbulb to me today, helping me see this proactive grace in new understanding. "For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say 'No' to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope--the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good." The grace I have claimed that has cleaned up my mess so many times has taught me there is a better way. I can say "No" to ungodliness. I have been redeemed and purified. All that really does make me eager to do good!! I want to proactively take hold of his grace that makes me whole.

However, sometimes I don't quite get the cup on the table.

And it spills.

Everywhere.

And God is right there with his grace, ready to clean it up.

Oh......

...Lympics! What is is about them?? Why have I engulfed myself daily in bobsledding and ice skating and snowboarding and hockey? (Ok, just kidding. I cannot watch hockey. Try as you may, you will not convince me they aren't just skating around and batting at the puck at random...) Why have a I stayed up even later than usual to catch these obscure sports unfold?

I mean, on any given Saturday, if Ryan happens to land on the X games or if there is some ice skating competition on, I an NOT interested. I don't follow of these people in real life. Two weeks ago, I could not have told you Evan Lysacek's name, the life story of Frank Carrol (his coach--come on, keep up now), or that the Koreans disdain Apolo Anton Ohno. I didn't know that the USA player to score the winning goal on the Canadians (in the first game, that is) plays for Vancouver in the NHL. Why have I invested myself in all that recently?

Well, my first thought comes to national pride. In our little school, we have been keeping track of the medal count daily on a graph. The kids are keenly aware that other countries have more golds than we do, but that we are still have the most overall. Ryan has added an app to the itouch to keep us up-to-date on the medal standings. We faithfully cheer for USA (pronounced by Jess "Oo-suh") and despair when we are not even near the podium.

But really, my interest in the Olympics is not just because of patriotism. It is what interests most of us in life: Story. What the Olympics give us is the story about the athletes. It offers a glimpse into what has made them who they are today. How they got here. What they have overcome. That they have lives that have led to this point. Some of them we have come to know over the past few Olympics, seen parts of their story unfold at the games. We see former Olympians in the crowd and realize that there is life after a lifetime accomplishment.

The events in the Olympics are interesting. But what captures us is the story.

We are all in the midst of a story. Mine doesn't play out the way I expect it to sometimes. I try to keep parts of it hidden. Other times I want to give myself way too much credit for the good things. But today, tomorrow, is just one part of the story.

I have a story. You have a story. Your crazy neighbor with the loud kids in the backyard has a story. If we take the time to find out, and share, our stories, we will care more about one another, invest more in each other.

I think many of us who grew up in the church take for granted the stories in the Bible. We know them so well, that we miss them entirely. They are really one story, the story of God. The gift that the Bible gives us is that glimpse into the daily lives of the heroes, if we take the time to see it. Moses parted the Red Sea, but before that, God almost killed him, apparently because he hadn't circumcised his sons. Rahab supported her family with the oldest profession, but knew there was the one true God who sought to save her from what she had made of herself. Samson had the strength of God, but a weakness for women. God used then all in his story.

The Olympics will end tomorrow. But the stories will continue. The athletes will go home, celebrate, hit the talk show circuit, retire or begin training for Sochi 2014. We will see a few of them again, and, after not thinking of them for 4 years, will cheer passionately for them again the next time.

So as the flame extinguishes, remember the stories--theirs, and ours, and our neighbors--go on. God is telling his story in each of us.

Dear Santa,

I realize I am getting this letter off a little late this year. I have had some computer problems and also been making a stocking for that little gift you delivered early last year. (Nope, wait. I delivered that one. 20 hours. You remember--you were there.) Anyway, I hope you are doing well. If it is still possible to consider some of my requests, I would appreciate it. Do not feel like this list is exhaustive, or that you have to get everything on it. These are merely some suggestions to help make your shopping a little easier. Also, this is not to say that I don't love the secret stash you give me of m&ms and Jelly Belly's in my stocking every year. Those are gifts that keep on giving for a few months.... or possibly, weeks.

• First, I know you know I like clothes. And I have discovered it can get a bit chilly here in Kansas! Apparently my warm sweaters went by the wayside in sunny Albuquerque. So a sweater would be nice. And also some of those super cute furry boots or clogs in the brown family would be nice!
• Years ago you (or some other man I love) gave me a set of gold stud earrings. I wouldn't mind another pair of everyday earrings, whether they are round, flat, hoops or another shape. You know what I like: small and simple.
• A new little Bible would be great! They have some really slim Bibles that I might even get to church with me once in a while.
  
• I would really love a booklight for those times when the whole family finds ourselves in the same room for the night.... A bonus would be if it took AAA batteries. :)
• Lastly, since the steering wheel on my sleigh... er, I mean, van, is all worn down, a steering wheel cover might be nice! Something cute and fashionable. I know they have girly ones, but if you feel a more neutral one is better suited to the whole family, I would love it, too!

Thank you for your consideration, Santa. I know you are a busy man. I hope this makes it easier on you! :)

Some Really Good Things:

• We seem to have a "done deal" on the house. The house passed inspection on Saturday with a few minor repairs showing up, but nothing that doesn't fall into the allowance we had already given. Our realtor was there to represent us and met the couple moving in. She said they have a baby due any day, so they were anxious to get things settled. They also have 3 other kids and we were told they loved our kids' rooms. This is such a relief to me! I know it's silly, but it was hard for me to think someone would come in and paint all of that!
• We have been blessed by our growing relationships around us. I really connected with another homeschooling mom the other day when she invited me and the kids over for a play day. The kids had a blast and we seemed to have a close connection from the beginning! At church on Sunday, we met another family who was visiting. In our small talk, we quickly learned that they had also moved to Olathe about a month ago to begin a new church!! We know God orchestrated this meeting and we are excited to see what this means! Our backdoor neighbors have blessed us as well, coming to our first 33 Home Bible Study last week, and then coming to the rescue the next day when I was stranded at the grocery store with dead battery and 3 empty carseats (i.e.--Ryan couldn't get to me).
• It was sunny today! The kids and I took advantage and got out with the bikes and stroller and dog, and didn't even regret any of it! :) We did find out we don't live on a "block" so the walk was a bit longer than I had planned, and I should have brought water!
• We have had some real blessed moments during school lately! I happened upon tying Bible story time to snack time, and we don't miss it anymore! It has really opened up some good question and answer times and teachable moments. Beyond this, we have made some good academic strides lately. I have been pleased with how easily things have been absorbed!
• We officially enrolled our kids in AWANA tonight. We had visited last week and they kept asking, can we go back next time? While we are excited about how they will be learning about God there, we are REALLY excited about how Ryan and I will have some time with only one kid!! Tonight we went on a date (isn't it funny that with 3, having only one constitutes a date?), but in the future I can see us doing something like shopping together (clothes, Sam's, birthday, Christmas, etc.)--something we enjoy doing together, but is nearly impossible and most certainly unenjoyable with the other two in tow!
• God is not finished with me yet. And my family hasn't given up on me either.

A sign I'm Getting Through...

Since flu season is upon us, and we are not the flu shot kind, I did a brief reminder lesson on the necessities of clean hands the other day. I told the kids we needed to be careful, especially when we're around a bunch of kids, to not touch our eyes, noses, or mouths, and make sure we wash or Purell as soon as we can.

On the way home from a gathering of kids the other day, Reed proudly proclaimed from the backseat, "Mom, I didn't pick my nose the whole time we were there!"

Blogging--UGH!

This has been my attitude about blogging as of late.  I'm not sure why, but I have a couple hunches:  1.) blogging is meant to update and I have had no substantial update as of late, 2.) blogging is meant to share deep thoughts and I have had a combination of a lot of incomplete deep thoughts and a whole lot of shallow ones.  

So, here are some bullets to help us all catch up.

• We are moving to Olathe.  Like tomorrow.  Well, that is a bit of a characteristic exaggeration.  But after waiting so long to get things moving (no pun intended), we will be making the trip to Albuquerque and back (I am in Kansas as I write this) within a week.  And in between we will finish packing up our house, do a concert for FCCabq, and load the trucks (yes, plural).  I would appreciate your prayers for sanity in the coming days!
• We have a house!! To rent, that is.  We have still had no offers on our Abq house and we have been given a peace about renting for a time.  The house we have found is for sale, so we will have the option to buy when our house sells and if it will meet our needs as we think it might.  It will be nice to have some time to really test it out!!  Some stats on it: 4 bedrooms, 2 full baths, 2 half baths, 3 living areas (1 in the basement), 2 car garage, laundry on the bedroom floor (yay!), good closets, some very dated wall paper boarders and lighting fixtures (Too bad those can't come down right away!) but all the right bones to a great house.  We are very excited!
• We have stayed this week with a host family from another church in the area.  We have been so blessed by Bill and Marilyn's hospitality!!  And the house? Oh. My. Word.  Seriously!!  Huge!  We have the top floor with three bedrooms, two baths, the loft in between, and a phone booth!!  Yep, a phone booth!  Almost every closet I have found is a walk-in (even the hall closets!).  The 60" TV in the basement with surround sound and leather couch has spoiled us too!  Some of Reed's quotes that help to illustrate the luxury: 1. (While sitting in their built-in diner booth with wall-mounted flat screen) "It's just like Fuddruckers!"  2. "Dad, look!  They have a path to their neighbor's house!"  "Son, that's not the neighbor's.  That's the garage!"  3. (Watching cartoons in the media room) "If we turn off all the lights, it's just like a movie theater!"  4. "They have their own personal river!!"
• So while we have enjoyed the great luxury, we have felt at home, too.  They have 9 grandchildren who stop by regularly (we met 4 of them) so they do not expect things to get put away perfectly.  They have let our kids be kids, which has enabled us to relax while we were here.  Also, they made sure that we would help ourselves to anything and everything we could find to eat, and told us not to replace what we used.  We have had great discussions on faith, and parenting, and life, etc.  I just cannot tell you how much we have enjoyed being here.
• We are excited about what God has in store for us in Olathe.  We have already met a homeschooling family with 4 kids--3 of whose ages align with ours.  We met our 3 immediate neighbors in one night and are excited about the possibilities in our new neighborhood.  I have even gone to the grocery store and liked it pretty well, at least at first sight.  The long transition has helped my heart move here.  The people I know I will desperately miss in Abq will still be a part of our lives, I know!  Hooray for facebook!
• On a total side note, I am the least excited about football season as I have been in quite some time.  I am not very excited about cheering for Brett Farve's former or current teams.  I am VERY hesitant to cheer for the Chief's since I have tried to stay away from that all my life.  I am not a huge Mizzou fan, but the Missouri part of me cannot just switch to KU loyalty either.  And I cannot get excited about my fantasy football team because it is against league rules to do so (Joe Milan!!!)!!!  So, in answer to "Are you ready for some football?" I would have to sadly say, "No." 

One blog in over two months.  More to come.  Possibly way into the future!

Product Endorsements

So I don't get any money from any of these products, (If you know how I could, please share!) but I thought I might share with you some of my favorite products as of late. In all our work to fix up the house to get it market ready, we have used quite a few.

• The Bathtub Scrubber from Scotch Brite (I think)--Ok, I don't think that's its real name. I actually bought it a few months ago for the kids to use to scrub the floor in their bathroom. (Because I am a terrible enough mom that their disgust and whining in the process brings me great entertainment and delight!!) It has a mid-size adjustable handle and a green scrubby pad on the bottom. It is a perfect size for them to do the floors, but I have found it is really great for doing showers and tubs, it's original intent, I believe. My only possible complaint is that the handle doesn't lock into position very well, so it sometimes collapses as you're working.
• Greased Lightning Professional Strength Hard Water Stain Remover--This one is for toilets bowls, but I have used it in various places. The hard water ring in all my toilets was SOO bad! And I have tried many things to no avail. But this worked!! First, the toilet water had to be drained, at least away from the line, because otherwise it is too diluted to work. (You can do this easily by quickly pouring a small bucket of water into the bowl. I don't know why this works, but it does!) Second, a traditional toilet brush didn't do it. We had to go with one of those green scrubby pads. And a little elbow grease. Voila! Two important things: Rubber Gloves and Ventilation!! I also used this product full strength on the hard water stains on the shower doors and the french door windows. The stains are still a bit noticeable but so much improved!
• Old English Scratch Cover--We did our doors and baseboards to clean them up, and they look so good! Supposedly it soaks in over time, so the fix is temporary, but it looks great for a few months. I also used it on a cheap coffee table we have, and it dressed it up so much!
• Sol-U-Mel--This is an all-purpose cleaner from the company Melaleuca. I use it for many things, namely grease stains and odor problems. It works wonders on carpet stains, and it is not a soap, so it doesn't leave as much residue that collects more dirt. (Spray it on, let it set for a few moments, then blot and rub with a rag.) It also cleaned up our white grout in the entryway very nicely. (Spray it on, let set for a few moments, and scrub with a grout brush. Some places needed to be done twice.) I use it diluted, but some stains need it full strength. One time I got a tablespoon of red paint almost completely out of our off-white carpet. Only a faint pink spot remains. If you're not familiar with Melaleuca, my sister Terrie can hook you up!!
• Hoover Steam Vac Dual V Carpet Cleaner--We've had this for a few years and really love it. We cannot afford to have the carpets professionally cleaned on a regular basis, so we bought this to use as needed. We are always amazed at what it picks up! And this one really sucks the water out, so it dries relatively quickly. ( I know the climate here helps...) The best thing we've learned is to not use any soap in it--we simply use it on rinse. Since our carpets were cleaned before we bought the house, there is still soap in the carpets that comes out. Used in conjunction with the Sol-U-Mel, I would put it up against some of the professionals!
• Shark Steam Mop--This one is new for us and we also love it! It is a steam mop that cleans only with water. The microfiber pads it comes with are washable, so there is no need to buy replacements all the time.
• Dyson Vacuum--Since we're on the on the subject.... I love that it's bagless and it really gets results. When I empty it in the dumpster outside I hear the refrain in my mind, "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust..."
  
• Pampered Chef Stone Scraper--Not just for the kitchen!! We have used this for so many of our jobs, from caulk to soap scum. Very handy!
• Windex Outdoor Window Scrubbers--We weren't convinced these would work, but since Ryan's dad invested in them [:)!], we found they work great! You really can clean the windows with just this kit and a hose! And one pad cleans approximately 10 windows, so you don't blow through a pack of refills before your done.

There might be more, but I can't think of them right now. If you have a product that you would recommend, add it to the comments!